Have you just failed in achieving something? Someone let you down? Whatever happened, it’s happened, now you are feeling down. What is the best thing to do? Google may show you hundreds of ways to improve your mood but the best advice is: don’t do anything, except sitting silently
Below are the reasons why you should do this while you’re feeling down. I’ve been doing this for years and no sadness can be around me for over 30 minutes. At the end of the blog, you will also know the best way to sit silently (it’s truly an art).
Going somewhere is good, but not the best thing to do when you’re feeling down.
Walking on a beach, riding around a lake, or going to any natural place are good. The fresh air will make you feel better, the vast sky will make you feel… a bit smaller, then your problem might become smaller as well. However, sadness is still waiting for you at home.
Eating something is good, but not the best thing to do when you’re feeling down.
When feeling down, when sadness surrounds, people think a lot. Their brain will consume more energy than normal. Eating will provide a temporary comfort because the brain is energized. But when you are full, you will be sad soon. Sadness is a hungry bear, it loves eating, too!
Sleeping is good, but not the best thing to do when you’re feeling down.
Sleeping is good, the brain will re-organize the information, when you wake up, you may find a positive meaning to what happened. But there is a chance that nothing comes up and you just want to sleep more and more, thus wasting a lot of time.
Talking to someone is good, but not the best thing to do when you’re feeling down.
It’s hard to talk with many people at the same time, so sadness may not be able to talk to you when you are busy talking with someone else. But even your lover can’t follow and listen to you all the time. And among all, sadness is always the last friend to stay with you at the end.
Reading something is good, but not the best thing to do when you’re feeling down.
Some books are really good at luring your mind into an interesting world of imagination. You may not have any problem in that unreal world, but it’s just a shelter, you’re not going to live there, right? Just like going somewhere else, sadness always waits till you come back.
So what is the best thing to do when you’re feeling down?
The essence of sadness is a kind of emotion. Some unwanted things happened, some expectations were not met. You reacted, you got disappointed, so you are sad.
When you are sad, you can go somewhere, eat something, talk to someone, etc… Do you notice that all of those solutions focus on the outer world? Meanwhile, your sadness is in your inner world.
Sadness is like a fire that burns you inside. Whatever you do in the outer world, is just like throwing more logs to the burning-fire. The best way is to go to the inner world, and prevent the fire from becoming bigger. The best thing to do is sitting silently, feel your emotion inside, then wait.
Why should you sit silently when you’re feeling down?
We reap what we sow. How can you get a banana if you only have apple seeds? When you are sad, whatever you’re gonna do, often carries along a negative energy. So it’s hard to get positive outcomes in the future. Sitting silently won’t get you more bad karma.
Moreover, sitting silently with proper technique will enable you to go deep inside yourself, where you can see what is really going on. But nowadays we’re getting more and more familiar with the outer world, so it’s not easy to go inside to feel sadness itself. We need a special technique.
How to feel sadness itself? The secret is now revealed!
Actually, sadness is an abstract thing, so it’s very hard to see or feel. While sitting silently with your eyes closed, you can only see thoughts, memories, images that make you sad. You cannot see or feel the sadness itself. But there is a trick here!
If you notice, any emotion will relate to some sensations on our body, especially the sensations on our face. When someone is angry, you can see their face turning red. When they are happy, their face looks fresh and so lively.
So instead of focusing on the images or memories that make you sad, try to be aware of any sensation on your face. What is a sensation? Anything appears on your skin, maybe hot, maybe cold, itching… whatever on your skin, it’s a sensation. Just watch, then wait.
Now I can feel the sensations created by sadness, then wait for what?
If you find some sensations on your face, maybe an itching sensation, maybe a light sensation… Don’t do anything. Don’t like some sensations or hate the others. They are just sensations, just wait and you will see the miracle. What is the miracle here?
The sensation comes, if you do nothing, if you don’t react, it will leave. That’s the miracle I’m talking about. Every sensation has the same characteristic like that. It comes, it goes.
Sometimes a sensation doesn’t leave right away, it keeps staying there. Just keep calm and you will see it’s changing. And if you wait long enough, it will leave. Sadness also leave, as well.
Why this is the best thing to do when you’re feeling down?
Emotions create sensations on our body as weapons to get power over us. When you are aware of every sensation on your face and keep your mind calm, emotions will lose their power. Sadness won’t be able to bother you anymore.
If we use normal ways to deal with sadness (as mentioned above), each time you think about a bad memory, bad emotions will come. But if we use this method, each time you think about that bad memory, that unwanted event, there is only some light sensations.
It’s hard to explain these experiences, you need to practice to see it yourself. Just find a quiet place, sit silently, aware of any sensation on your face, then wait, then you will see the miracle self-healing ability of your soul.
In general, what is the best thing to do when you’re feeling down?
Just sit silently, aware of the sensations on your face, then let them go.
Just try it, and you will understand why it’s the best. Good luck!
P.s. If you want to find a great (and free) place to sit silently without any interruptions for ten days, I suggest this meditation course. You can find a blog I wrote about it below.
See you with good news!
Fususu - Nguyễn Chu Nam Phương
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